June 2015 - 3 Months

In June I had to travel again for work. I was nervous because we had a SICC visit the day I had to leave for Dallas. I was sitting with people from the BU (China) when Scott called me and was upset. The doctor at SICC was very concerned about C's head size and told him that her brain may have atrophied and therefore her head would stop growing. I held back tears as I was in a cab with other people to go to the hotel. After googling it I saw it was called Microcephaly and it would mean she could be the mindset of a toddler or baby her entire life.

I had to go to work meetings. That night everyone was drinking and I was so sick of people complaining about stupid things when they really had no concerns like the one I had right now, will my daughter be like a baby her entire life? Every time I went to my room I sobbed. I powered through the meetings and people asking “how is the baby” which now was like being shot in the chest each time I was asked, no longer like being stabbed. I would hold my breath hoping there would not be any follow on questions. I actually responded to one of them “well her brain might be like a baby for the rest of her life but we won’t know until the MRI, so yeah”… yeah that was not the best idea. Talk about awkward. But I had been wanting to respond that way every single time I was asked and it was a coworker and not a customer.

C went to the neurologist and he laughed off the idea of her brain atrophying and said we just needed to watch the size. Second time someone was wrong. 

She was now almost 4 months old and not smiling or looking at us or toys. It killed me and Scott to see other babies we knew were close to her age or younger smiling already and interacting. Scott takes this more to heart than I do though, every time he sees a healthy baby he feels like what gives you the right to have your child be healthy. And it’s a legitimate thought, there are people who do drugs while they are pregnant and their children end up healthy. Anyways, she was not smiling or interacting so we decided to start developmental therapy aka CBRS which is the worst name ever. Our CDSA person found us an AMAZING woman to add to our team, Nora. We absolutely adore Nora. She has set the bar high as far as what we now expect from our therapists. She writes in a notebook what the progress has been and what to work on before the next visit. And even in the first week after we started with her we saw progress. Nora is another awesome person to be added to Team Clapsaddle.

C is 3 months old